Dude was Probably Gay

Okay, I gotta dmit that I'm listening to some of Ray William Johnson's songs meanwhile writing this blog entry. And I sadly happened to delete all the comments on my fucking blog. Fuck you blogspot, why can't I use you properly?! Anybody willing to tell me/share me how to use this shit? I don't have a clue how to reply on the comments and such.... So? Eh?  yeah. But anyway, as I promised....

10th Doctor Cosplay wig progression imagery

So, as I promised! Heeere we go! I'll have some comments about how I did a couple of things, so this is some sort of tutorial thing on the same time. So, well? Shall we get started then?

So, this is the first phrase of the wig, I just had received it in the mail, and it was instant love with this wig! It is all smooth and lovely and all, so I actually were wearing this wig at school at the very next day, and no one really could tell if it were my real hair or a wig. But anyway, It was a hard decision to make; To style this wig or not. So I decided that I'll style this one, and later on order on similiar which I won't style or cut in any form. So well... I am not cutting my own hair for this cosplay. But anyway, I wanted to censor my derpy face. So yeah.

And now this picture then again shows how I did the cutting; Layer by layer I went on for a couple of Hours, before I actually did the 'mohawk' like part in this styling. It's actually pretty fun to do, but on the same time it felt like my heart were sinking in my chest. Such a lovely wig, and I had to sacrifice it for cosplay... but by time I'll have again enough money to order an other one which I won't cut as brutally as I did with this wig. <3 Rest in peace lovely wig! 

Okay, so At this point I had 'built up' the mohawk like part, which shows a bit long in this picture, but since I hadn't yet cut it, so that's the reason why this looks more like a... Reqular hairstyle, indeed. But anyway, I have still some work to do on the sides of this wig, since I'm not too happy with it yet, but by time, and when I have more motivation for it. I really wish I'd get that pair of hair cutting scissors I saw at the second hand store today. They were around 30 euros, but It would be actually very hand because of styling these fucking wigs and cosplay. But well, for as long I'll be just fine with the kitchen scissor and the paper scissor I have. Oh these days. Sometimes I actually use nail cutting scissors as well, but it's not that usual though...

But let's move on!

Aaaand here we have the result! Please notice; This is not yet done, nooo... not at all, I need a bit more styling on this wig, but I'm getting there slowly. I have been working currernly on this wig around 3-4 hours, and A couple of more hours or days are awaiting me. So well, I'm quite happy with the result, and acutally I found out that this wig wasn't as high quality as I had expected; The layers are easily showing, so I have to come up with something for that. But well, any form of advice is welcome! And well, I am still working on the doctor like expressions and all, and I can say it's quite hard.

And an other funny fact; I didn't pay attention what shirt I were wearing; so This shirt just did an amazing cameo appearence. So well, The shirt is saying "Trust me, I'm a Doctor." Coincedence, Eh?

Something I wanted to share with you about the make up; I did these sideburns as well, since the doctor has sideburns! *gets hit by a fish*

So well, I am still practicing doing these sideburns, and to be all honest, that hair what I used for the sideburns is the synthetic hair I cut off from the wig... So I acutally saved it up, since I can use it for make-up and such. So, here's the result. At least it is the same colour as my wig!

And check out my flesh plug! <3 It's 10 mm! Finally! I wish it were larger, but actually; because of cosplay I won't do it larger.I though know already how to counceal piercings properly, just ask me about it, and I can give you a couple of hints :) But anyway! MOOOVING OOOON FOR THE 100th TIME!

Just talking about derpy expressions, I should be winning the cold for this. Not. The expressions and the acts are still on progress, and I can say it's quite difficult to full fill these kinds of things and all, and I just noticed as well that the mohawk like thing in this wig is still a bit too long... More cutting ahead, alonsy! But I'm willing to do so and all...

Oh well, I guess that was all for today.

I'm over and out!
–TA

PS. Not amused doctor is not amused.

Just Please.

So sorry about the fact that I haven't been able to update here in a couple of days, but I have been extremely tired, so that's the main reasons why I haven't been very inspired to do anything. So, That pretty much explains everything.

This past week has been quite not so nice as I had expected,  but what can I do? Nothing much about it I guess... So uh, let's not talk about that. I'm just sick of thinking about school and all the crap it has to come and give to me. And the fact that my back is all fucked up again doesn't help at all. But well, what can I do about that? Nothing really, just have to get it fixed somewhat before desucon, I guess.  But that's what you get, I guess.

And the fact that I'm not actually at all inspired to go to Desucon... Just doesn't feel right at all. And on the second hand, it's literally from arsle that my boyfriend cannot attend there. Seriously. FFFUUUUCK.  And since I'm all the time tired, and my health is all fucked up at the moment, so I'm not actually that excited anymore. 

Since the reason why I wanted to go there doesn't come there. And of course that my boyfriend doesn't attend. 

FUCK IT.

I'm moving to Alaska. 

Still yet again I only wish. 

Sometimes it actually feels like moving away from here would be just the right answer, just forget everything what has happened, and take everything over again. It just feels a bit like I'm walking in circles. But maybe this is just one phrase I'm going through? And Next autumn I'll already be kind of moved off from home and all, and started over and will meet new people; amazing or awful. I don't know, I just wish it's the first option though. 

And I'll be uploading some stuff about my Doctor cosplay in the next Blog entry I'll write here, And It will only include about wig stylisation, and how I did it... So If you're interested, so stay just tuned, and you'll get some tips for wig styling and all, And I'll perhaps begin to take some wig comissions... I'll think about it.

Or what do you think? Should I start doing wig comissions? Do you think my wig skills would be good enough to satisfy orders and customers?

And soo.

I guess that was all for today. 

Take care, and I'm sorry for whining again. xDD just felt like doing it again.

Bye byee!

–TA

Masquerade

Helloo Fräuelins! <3

How are you doing this particullary amazing day?

For myself, I'm doing just great, had an amazing weekend at a friends place, and Gawd. We had a lot of fun!

Chinese heavymetal band.

That pretty much explains the stuff we were doing and watching and so on. xD Anyway, I had an amazing day, and can't wait to see her again! Luckily it's not much to go, and then it's desucon and then I can start literally over, since I don't have to see that one fucker afterwards. The last Time I ever have to see that person, and then I can breathe out and live my life as I want to. Not as someone else wants me to.  

FUCK YEAAAAAHH!!!

So yeah, I am waiting for desucon a lot, so well, I guess the majority knows by this time why! Partay then on sunday at Desucon xDD

But anyway, I am pretty tired at the moment, and I will be posting soon some progress images of my Doctor cosplay I am working on, and I am soon done with my Keith cosplay as well. I just have to get some beard stuff and my wig in the mail and send here a WIP picture of that then... Man, Can't wait. It feels like eternity for things to come in the mail, which seriously sucks dalek ass.

So... I guess this was more like a updation that I am still alive?

Oh yeah.

So, How have you been doing? I've missed you guys.

That was all for today, so... See you later! I'll be updating more when I have more to say and share with you. 

–TA

Anger Swells in My Guts

vituttaa lievästi. Ja itkettää.

Tää ei oo enää kivaa, mä en jaksaisi päivää enemmän kuunnella noitten tappelua, ja varsinkin sitä en jaksa että kiittämättömyys on maailmalle kiitos. Kuinka reilua on, että olet raatanut 2 tuntia putkeen, imuroinut koko talon, pessy vessan, putsannu pölyt helvettiin ja ottanut pari taukoa, ja jopa pistänyt ne saatanan matot paikalleen. Kiitoksena tuli sitten se, että mä en kuulemma saa sitten ne rahat tästä työstä sen takia, että en jaksanu tota yhtä vessaa pestä. Siis aivan oikeasti.

Sitten, sisko tulee kotiin pauhaamaan kuinka vitun raskas päivä sillä on ollut koulussa, ja alkaa vinee jostain saatanan veloista. Mä en edes jaksa enää, Hyvä kun ei ikinä muisteta niitä asioita mitä joskus olen tarjonnu; Smartista hiuslakkaan. Joskus ihmisten pitäisi vähän ajatella, ja tehdä vastapalvelus ja olla valittamatta.

Noh... Ei kai tässä mitään enempää ole. Meen varmaan nyt nukkumaan ja itkemään jonnekkin nurkkaan rauhaan. Tää ei ikinä lopu; Tää huono olo vaan yltyy ja yltyy... Onneksi on niitä päiviä, jotka helpottavat kummallisesti sitä fiilistä, ne päivät jotka saa mut haluamaan jatkamaan pari päivää lisää.

Joskus olisi ihan jees jos olis vain joku keksitty hahmo, ei tarvis ainakaan kärsiä yhtä paljon... tai noh... En tiiä.

Mutta kuitenkin...

Ei tässä mitään kummallisempaa...

Meen tästä helvettiin.

Heippaa

–TA

A way of Lifestyle

Hello there, my fellow friends and bloggers.

I haven't been blogging too much lately, but that has been mostly because of the fact that I have been busy as hell, and there has been a lot going on in school, and as well as in the cosplay front.

At the moment I'm working on two different cosplays, Keith from left 4 dead 2, and Doctor from the legendary TV show, Doctor who. (the 10th doctor, of course.) But well, so... What can I say about that? I'm currently working on the overalls and some stuff for Doc and Keith. Soo.... Yeah! And a lotsa planning and psycing progresses going on, and things like that what belongs to the thing, alonsy. 

Well maybe the not so funny part is; that people has noticed that I have changed a bit; Well, what can I do? I want to do a good cosplay, and become a good actor on my free time, so I really have to try out a couple of things in real life and all, it's important. But anywhat, it doesn't mean that I am thinking thru a character, I'm just trying a couple of ways of how the character would say it and all, so don't worry, I'm all fine, honestly! :)

But anyway, It will be a long pause though

I have a lot to do, and I can't update on the weekend, I'm going to Helsinki to Ms_puppet, and we're gonna have fun all weekend long! 8D Can't wait to see her again, i haven't seen her in ages. or at least it feels like it. Yeah. And of course, I will see my beloved Minnuli again as well <3

And actually, wanted to mention; I were at the kultajuhlat in Helsinki, and it was ogaay. even Though I and Minna never really went to the square place but maan... The shopping centre was so fucking empty. I haven't EVER seen that place as empty as that time. It was almost scary.

But Anywaaay.

Off to work on cosplays and listen to amazing music, alonsys. 

Adíos, amigos!

–TA

Anti–Love

So well, today we had our team fortress 2 picnic meeting, and actually I had expected that it would have given an opportunity for us to re-unite with our little group, but actually, I have now proven myself twice, that it doesn't work, the group has two inner groups in it, and well.. Good or Bad? I can't tell, it doesn't really matter for me, I'm all fine with it. But meh, sometimes I wish I weren't so invisible, you see, It just feels like that people like that one little act I keep up, not the one who I am: The silent little girl who thinks a lot. But whatever, I actually enjoy my peace, so I could actually as well ask myself why the fuck am I having a big group like that up? Well, anyway, I'm happy I'm not the only one who's actually keeping us together, the group has some sort of... Democracy. People can make their own opinions heard, and that's what I think is most important part. 

And I feel like a bad person for being so mean for some people, but that's just one part of my nation, and I'm very glad that I actually have the ability to be a little bit of a bitch. Everyone needs some inner bitches, life wouldn't work otherwise I think. 

”A beautiful soul

A beautiful mind

A beautiful human-being

who isn't actually a

Human-Being

A beautiful soul

A beautiful mind

A beautiful Angel.”

So but well anywhat, maybe I should go on.

The meeting itself went amazingly on, even though I felt like to throw up a couple of times and had an amazing headache and all, and I have to actually say; Thanks to the bad things I do... I should really quit I think. But oh man, I am glad it didn't become a migrain or anything then the meeting would have been more fucked up, it was already enough that I had forgotten mine cough medicine and calming ones, but oh, I survived! Here I am writting this blog and feeling rather good, but well, my back is aching like hell, and I am worried that it's actually something more serious.

And one other thing I would like to mention before I start to stop writing this blog entry is that... I'm scared of cancer... I'm afraid that I will become a girl with most probably lung cancer... I remember the warnings the doctor gave me a couple of years ago when I had some problems with my throath, that if I ever start smoking that it can actually become some sort of lung or throath cancer... 

How Could I even forget that?!

My best friend died in cancer last fall, Jonsu, she was supposed to be on our cosplay group, or well, she would have wanted but since her cancer she never managed to be a part of the team fortress 2 group of mine... She told me back then she loved the role play games  we had with a couple of friends of mine at the playground for da lulz was amazing, and she was one of the most amazing Sniper cosplayers I have ever seen. "AAA SEE MEHUKATTI SAAAAATANAAA!!" Legendary line indeed. So I will be scanning here some of her drawings I have left from her, like a memorial... and actually, this team fortress 2 group for me is more like personally like... Cherising the memory of Jonna Lehtinen. Oh man I am all teary when I write this blog, maybe I should just switch subject? I'm going to most probably write some more about her, since I want everybody to know what an amazing person she was, and how much she meant for me. She was one of the persons who made my day even better.May she Rest in Peace <3

But anyway, A good meeting, and I'm happy everything went well... Next stop is then Desucon.... Let's see if It will be as nice as I have expected.

–JB 

love yourself?

One of the hardest parts for me what I have to struggle everyday with: Self accpetance. 

Is it just like that and then you have accpeted yourself and all the lacks you have? No, I don't think so. I feel ugly. I feel stupid. And the worst of all, I feel like a complete slut for trying to be someone else than I am. I just want to be beautiful, okay? For example, today, I have been looking for clothes I would be wearing at the next meeting of ours, but I haven't found anything. I have went thru my closet of all clothse and everything, but no... Nothing. So I will go downtown quickly and try to find one white long sleeved shirt for my clothing for Saturday, but I doubt that it won't satisfy my feelings about my looks.

My hair looks stupid. My face looks stupid and the worst of all: My body. I hate it. I just would love to cut my body into pieces and die. Honestly. Why can't I be pretty and thin as my sisters for example??

Sorry about this, but I felt like to want to write it down... No matter how much make-up I have on, or how much I would stand in front of the mirror and try to make myself look somewhat beautiful... I always fail. Every single time.And it feels like people are just lying to me about my looks and tells me I'm pretty, but that's the thing, I'm not. 

Some people just can't be beautiful. Someone has to be the ugly fuck in a family and friendships, and it just happens to be me. So be happy that you're blessed and is more attractive than I am.

But anyway... Somewhat feels already better that I got the chance to write my thoughts down about my looks and body, it really helped me a lot... Now I just need to wait until my hair gets some length, and that I would have enough money to buy shoes and one white long sleeved shirt for Saturday...

I really wish that saturday will be okay, since I'm not in a way too good mood or emotionally stabile at the moment, it's so much going on and it just feels like no one really understands how it can feel like that you try to desperately find something what you can't have. And for me it is: Beauty.

JB

Frickin' fatcakes.

Oh man, It's soo boring at the moment, I have been washing off some windows and It has been so daaamn booooriiiing. Well actually I am waiting for Saturday, so I will be able to post here some pictures of my make-ups and all, since I'm a very very shy and lazy person when it comes to post pictures, I do have pictures what I could post here and stuff, but then again I don't have the courage to do it. .___.

But anyhow, Actually, everything is at the moment very very good! Soon is time for the Zombie Walk in Helsinki, but I don't know if I'm going to attend, since I don't have anybody to go with there, so I think I'll pass. But anyway, to them who want to know when the Zombie walk is, so it's 14th of May. I don't know where it starts and what time, but I know then it's time for the Zombie walk, so you can gather together a brain eating Zombie crew and attend to the walk and meet other Zombies! Oh man, Now I really wish I had the crew/money/time to go there. But then again I just have the ”Zack Lockwood” Costume, and I want to be even more grosser Zombie than I was at Halloween. Oh man.  Something like this actually! 

Okay, the Make up itself wouldn't be so hard to do, but the costume would be very expensive and all, and the fake blood, since the fake blood I have, is rather old at this point, so I don't want to use it just because over the fact that I am a bit scared what cosequences it might bring with it. It's never good to use too old products, it's always good to update your make-ups once in a while! That then again reminds me that I should buy new white contact lenses for next Halloween and begin to already plan my next Zombieness for this year! Can't wait for Halloween, it's one of my favorite Holidays to be all honest. :)

But yes, It's not much going on, so I'll update later on. Please tell about my blog to people you know who likes Zombies, Fashion, Make-up and stuff like that, I'd love to have some more readers and all! :)

Love,

JB

Oh the days.

On se kyllä aika jännää, Mä, joka vannoin että en ikinä tule kirjoittamaan Blogia, niin tässä sitä ollaan, blogin kera. Jotenkin on vain sellainen olo, että tämä tulee kanssa helpottamaan jonkin verran, ja että saan kirjoitettua tänne hieman omia ajatuksia, ja asioita mitä on käynyt, tosin en tule kirjoittamaan paljon mitään mun ongelmista tänne, sillä olen sitä mieltä, että sitä ei muut tarvitse tietää, että mitä ihmeen ongelmia minulla on ja sen sellaista.

Ja toki varmaan tuun kanssa lisäilemään tänne jotain random lyricsei, kuvia, sun muuta shaibaa mitä on tullut tehtyä tässä viime aikoina ja kaikkea muuta jännää mitä muita ihmisiä ei oikeasti kiinnosta.

Mutta kuitenkin.

On ollut aivan hieno viikko, vaikka en ole ollut liian terve tai mitään, mutta ainahan se piristää että on joku vieras meidän luonamme, ja oppia lisää toisista kulttuureista ja tutustua uusiin ihmisiin. Tällä Kertaan Italialaiseen, Monica Bassaaniin.

Hän on todellakin ollut tosi mukava, ja toivon, että hän pääsee uudestaan Suomessa käymään, tosin en sitten tiedä, mutta ainahan voi toivoa. Matkat kun toki maksaa jonkin verran ja sitten se riippuu ihan, jos on aikaa ja muutenkin inspiraatiota tulla Suomessa käymään. :) Ellei sitten itse jaksais raahata persettä Italiaan.

Mutta kuitenkin ajattelin lisätä sen verran, että tulen kirjoittamaan tosin Joko suomeksi, ruotsiksi tai Englanniksi, aika varmasti kallistuu tuohon Englantiin, kun en osaa mitään muuta kieltä yhtä hyvin kuin juuri sitä, niin en halua nolata itseeni sillä, että typotan koko blogin läpi. x'DD Ja sit toki, nolasin jo itseni, minulla on blogi. Huhuh. Kuullostaa tyhmälle.

Huomenna tulee olemaan Englannin valtakunnallinen, enkä yhtään tiedä jos jaksaisin edes raahautua sinne tekemään sitä, mutta kait on pakko. Blööh. Aivan perseestä koko valtakunnallinen. Miksi edes sillaisia pidetään?? Ei saisi ikinä verrata toisia oppilaita keskenään. Ainakin tätä mieltä itse olen.

Mutta kuitenkin, tässä oli hieman jotain pientä mitä halusin kirjoittaa ennen kuin menin tästä nukkumaan :))

Stay tuned~

– JB