So well, today we had our team fortress 2 picnic meeting, and actually I had expected that it would have given an opportunity for us to re-unite with our little group, but actually, I have now proven myself twice, that it doesn't work, the group has two inner groups in it, and well.. Good or Bad? I can't tell, it doesn't really matter for me, I'm all fine with it. But meh, sometimes I wish I weren't so invisible, you see, It just feels like that people like that one little act I keep up, not the one who I am: The silent little girl who thinks a lot. But whatever, I actually enjoy my peace, so I could actually as well ask myself why the fuck am I having a big group like that up? Well, anyway, I'm happy I'm not the only one who's actually keeping us together, the group has some sort of... Democracy. People can make their own opinions heard, and that's what I think is most important part.
And I feel like a bad person for being so mean for some people, but that's just one part of my nation, and I'm very glad that I actually have the ability to be a little bit of a bitch. Everyone needs some inner bitches, life wouldn't work otherwise I think.
”A beautiful soul
A beautiful mind
A beautiful human-being
who isn't actually a
Human-Being
A beautiful soul
A beautiful mind
A beautiful Angel.”
So but well anywhat, maybe I should go on.
The meeting itself went amazingly on, even though I felt like to throw up a couple of times and had an amazing headache and all, and I have to actually say; Thanks to the bad things I do... I should really quit I think. But oh man, I am glad it didn't become a migrain or anything then the meeting would have been more fucked up, it was already enough that I had forgotten mine cough medicine and calming ones, but oh, I survived! Here I am writting this blog and feeling rather good, but well, my back is aching like hell, and I am worried that it's actually something more serious.
And one other thing I would like to mention before I start to stop writing this blog entry is that... I'm scared of cancer... I'm afraid that I will become a girl with most probably lung cancer... I remember the warnings the doctor gave me a couple of years ago when I had some problems with my throath, that if I ever start smoking that it can actually become some sort of lung or throath cancer...
How Could I even forget that?!
My best friend died in cancer last fall, Jonsu, she was supposed to be on our cosplay group, or well, she would have wanted but since her cancer she never managed to be a part of the team fortress 2 group of mine... She told me back then she loved the role play games we had with a couple of friends of mine at the playground for da lulz was amazing, and she was one of the most amazing Sniper cosplayers I have ever seen. "AAA SEE MEHUKATTI SAAAAATANAAA!!" Legendary line indeed. So I will be scanning here some of her drawings I have left from her, like a memorial... and actually, this team fortress 2 group for me is more like personally like... Cherising the memory of Jonna Lehtinen. Oh man I am all teary when I write this blog, maybe I should just switch subject? I'm going to most probably write some more about her, since I want everybody to know what an amazing person she was, and how much she meant for me. She was one of the persons who made my day even better.May she Rest in Peace <3
But anyway, A good meeting, and I'm happy everything went well... Next stop is then Desucon.... Let's see if It will be as nice as I have expected.
–JB
No comments:
Post a Comment